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So after being criticized for avoiding the media, Joe Biden finally started making some public appearances to refute the idea of his death. And who did he start with? Howard Stern. That's right. “The King of All Media” interviewed the “Petrified of All Media”. It was a strange appearance for Fart Man, and Howard Stern didn't look very good either. But what a look it was. Of course, Joe had trouble hearing the questions, not because of his age, but because Howard had his head so far up the president's ass that it was muffled. It wasn't an interview, it was a Lewinski. The only thing missing was a blue robe and a real president.
This is a clear indication that the king of all media is now the queen of all BJ. Hey, you know, maybe Stern had a gender change because all I saw when I watched that interview was a giant piece of shit. Who knew the Stern Show would be a safe space for spineless, talkative geriatricians, as well as Joe Biden? But what was truly remarkable was how Stern absorbed all the lies. Joe spun more wool than Mother Goose on crystal meth. But that's the Democrats' dilemma: hide Joe and make him look crazy, or let him speak and remove all doubt. It's full of more garbage than Joy Behar's bathtub. First, Joe lied about how he got arrested at a protest while standing on a black family's porch.
JOE BIDEN: He said: Joey, remember? True story. He said, remember when there was the desegregation of Linfield, the neighborhood with, you know, 70 houses built in the white suburbs. And I told you, and there was a black family moving in, and there were people protesting there. I told you not to go. And you came down. You remember it ? And you came and were arrested while you were standing on the porch with a black family.
HOWARD STERN: RIGHT?
JOE BIDEN: Did the police bring you back? I said, yeah, Mom, I remember that.
BIDEN ROASTED FOR AGREEING TO DEBATE TRUMP ON HOWARD STERN: “HIS HANDLER MUST BE FURIOUS!”
You know, every time he says “true story” it's a trick. I bet the mother remembers it differently. At the time, she remembers him saying, you know, she remembers herself: Will anyone tell this white kid to get off our porch? He won't stop sniffing our baby's hair. Of course, no one can find any trace of this arrest. They tried. Biden also claimed to have been a runner-up in state scoring in football.
Biden speaks with Howard Stern (Getty Images)
HOWARD STERN: I don't think many people know that you were a star receiver in high school. You were like the first string guy. You're the one who caught the ball.
JOE BIDEN: State ranking finalist. You know.
HOWARD STERN: Wow.
Oh, man. Stern knows his life story better than he does. But I guess the best evidence that Joe Biden played football is the brain damage. Stern then asked another bogus question about being a lifeguard.
HOWARD STERN: Have you ever saved anyone's life when you were a lifeguard? Has anyone ever drowned?
JOE BIDEN: Yeah.
HOWARD STERN: You did it?
JOE BIDEN: Yeah, well, half a dozen times. Usually younger kids, you know? But euh…
HOWARD STERN: Do you do the whistle thing and then jump in your swimsuit?
JOE BIDEN: Yeah, you got it.
BIDEN APPEARS TO READ SCRIPT INSTRUCTIONS OUT LOUD IN LATEST TELEPROMPTER GAFFE: “FOUR MORE YEARS, BREAK”
Yeah, half a dozen kids. Remember the good old days when Howard Stern interviewed smarter people who could maintain a line of thought, you know, like crack whores? Stern then told Biden that the president has had a very cinematic life. You have the movie Pinocchio. And what's up with Stern? It's like he's become everything he hated. But maybe that's all he really wanted. The role of the common man was just an act, a way to be accepted by the elites who hated him. Then there's Joe talking about how, as a senator in the '70s, he was named Most Eligible Bachelor.
President Biden faced a wave of criticism Friday — both from the media and commentators — for stretching the truth during an interview with radio host Howard Stern. (Getty Images)
JOE BIDEN: It's like when I met, when I met Jill, I was when I lost my family. I was included on the list of the ten most eligible bachelors.
HOWARD STERN: Because you were a United States senator. You were a trap.
JOE BIDEN: And so, and lots of pretty women. But women would send very salacious photos, and I would just give them to the Secret Service.
No, senators do not have access to Secret Service details. Joe Biden only got one in 2008 and he showed his gratitude by swimming naked in front of them in the pool. You can read this title here. I'm too lazy. So you have to wonder who Joe was actually giving these photos to. Is there a group of retired Senate ushers with photos of Liz Warren carrying only a feather? But I gotta say, man, Howard Stern is the only guy who makes Seth Meyers look cutting edge. I mean, he really reinvented himself. He went from a funny asshole to an annoying asshole.
So Joe's next stop, the White House Correspondents' Dinner. The evening drink was vinegar and water because that's what you serve at an asshole convention. Now the event takes place in a huge ballroom in Washington DC, which is ironic because no one there has ever been seen with a pair of balls. Thousands of needy media, politicians and celebrities gathered to tell each other how great they are. It's like working for Kim Jong Un. A bunch of weak, scared people who pretend to love a tyrant so they don't get eaten by his dog. The event was hosted by Colin Jost, of Scarlett Johansson fame. But if that's your claim to fame, you should claim that fame, I get it. But from the podium, he did what was expected. He made a few jokes with those directed at Joe or the non-Fox media, having all the spice of a knock-knock joke.
It's hard to say which had less bite: the Stern interview, Colin's jokes, or Biden himself, but weaker was the way Jost turned his comedy into a preachy devotion to Biden. His jokes weren't meant to be funny at all, but simply to express astonishment that America might prefer Trump over Joe. As for the prez, he received a standing ovation for having managed to get up. Although his speech was the usual combination of weird smiles and shots at Trump. Why repeat it? You've heard it before, but the story is what you haven't heard at Stern or in Washington DC. And this is what is happening in America and to America.
No wonder they prefer to joke about Trump, who is not president. It's hard to make jokes about violent crime, war, crippling inflation, mental illness, squatting, homelessness, illegal immigration, fentanyl overdoses, trans activism and, of course, American hostages. But whether you're Howard Stern or Joe Biden, it's simply best to isolate yourself from the rabble surrounded by wealth, comfort, and power and hope the rest of America doesn't notice. But we do it.
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In some ways, Stern and Biden are a lot alike, posing as commoners, but they actually find people disgusting. But if it's any consolation, the feeling is mutual.