Trump has faced bullets figuratively and now literally, and he's getting stronger.

So with the nomination of Trump and his Vice President, J.D. Vance, America woke up today to two white men who could very well run the country for the next four years. They are two Hitlers for the price of one. So what is going on here? Why are evil white men not only leading in the polls but winning minority voters the way Joy Behar is winning chins? Right now, these two evil white men are making the Democratic Party look about as organized as a supermarket robbery.

The truth is, there is a fundamental difference between the left and the right that goes beyond politics, and that is why people of all stripes are increasingly turning to the Republican Party. Deep down, the right loves America. They are not afraid to show it. They are the ones who stand for the national anthem, who love the military, who see America as a force for good, and who are happy with their families, their country, and this show, of course. But the left is just as unhappy as Morning Joe when Mika is on a diet. Or Mika when Joe is on his period. Both sides have their warriors, to be sure. But at least the right is happy. That is why we are winning. And thanks to Trump, the Republicans are back in their groove.

Republican presidential candidate and former U.S. President Donald Trump applauds Republican vice presidential candidate J.D. Vance as he gestures on the second day of the Republican National Convention (RNC), at Fiserv Forum in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, U.S., July 16, 2024. (REUTERS/Elizabeth Frantz)

For an example of the difference between the two sides, just look at the reactions to the assassination attempt. Think about it. The guy they hate gets shot, and they’re the ones who are miserable, including many who have made no secret of the fact that they wish the shooter hadn’t missed. But our guy gets shot, and what happens? Everyone’s chanting “USA!” Trump gets his head crushed by an AK, and he comes out defiant and full of love for his country, looking for its odor eaters. Because that’s what he meant by “fight,” of course. He meant fight for this place, fight for its founding principles, its freedoms, its strengths, not its goddamn pronouns.

Trump leads Biden in blue state after assassination attempt, poll finds

Now imagine the opposite. Imagine the opposite if Joe lost a single hair. He’d be in Walter Reed for a month. What a contrast. One president has one ear bleeding and the other needs a miraculous ear. You could wrap Trump’s entire head in bandages like the mummy and he’d still be more aware of his surroundings than old Joe. And Biden’s rallies? They’re in such boring, dreary places: high school gyms where everyone acts like they’re at a doctor’s appointment and it’s a cross between Dr. Frankenstein and Dr. Kevorkian.

Meanwhile, Trump’s rallies are massive and joyous, and even with a shooting, people cry. But they also moved forward. They couldn’t be beaten down. Trump has faced figurative bullets and now literal bullets, and he’s getting stronger and stronger. And he’s still smiling. A real smile, too, not the skeletal grin Biden has had since his plastic surgeon stapled his ears to the back of his head. Circumstances have molded Trump into a greater force and someone who’s having fun. All while the media tried to paint him as a wimp. Oh, look, he fell. It was just a loud noise. Oh, that was probably glass, right? If these people were covering the Hindenburg, they’d tell us, well, someone’s lighting farts. But if that happened to Biden, the media would be crying like Chris Christie when the McRib was shut down.

Meanwhile, the legal war against Trump is collapsing like a toilet seat on Lizzo’s commode. I love the word commode, what can I say? Americans of all stripes and colors saw this as bullshit. So doesn’t there seem to be something about the timing of it all? The pathetic Biden debate, the shootout with Trump that was simply head-spinning, the end of the document prosecution, and now today’s conviction of Menendez as we watch how corrupt Democrats led a man accused of being an agent of a foreign power to remain on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and receive classified briefings during his trial. Democrats, maybe it’s time to ask yourselves, is this how this all happens when God or some other force of justice is on the other side? Because in this movie, we are the good guys and the Democrats know that ultimately, they are the bad guys and the payback will come in November.

So if you doubt any of this, just look at the supporters on each side. The Trump supporters are happy dads ready to fight, yes, but happy. While the supporters on the other side are hysterical, terrified people, as unhappy as Jerry Nadler's belt buckle. But the right-wing celebrities are there, swinging, but enjoying the fight.

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Finally, just look at the name of Trump’s deputy communications director. Her name is Caroline Sunshine. That’s really her name. Can you think of a more cheerful name than Caroline Sunshine? She even sounds like a Caroline Sunshine. And yet, it’s no surprise that Joe is called Biden, because that’s all he does: Biden’ Time.